ABOUT
Hi! I’m Ashton. I am a person who considers sex a means of expression: an ART such as music and sculpture. I don’t believe nudity should ever be subject to censorship. Human shape is beautiful. I’m very adventurous and open to experimenting new things. I find male and female bodies truly fascinating and exciting.
My new novel is taking shape to be completed in early 2023!
Click HERE to learn more about my new project: I am writing a novel. I am making a contribution to the world: a novel about the matters that I am so passionate about. I’m reviving the XV century with a fictional character that will lead us through a realistic true: the male prostitution during medieval times.
Click HERE to read Part I for free (pdf)- First 116 pages. Parts II, III, are finished but not yet formatted. Part IV and V (the final part) are still being developed and will hopefully be done by the end of 2022.
My second novel is taking over
Click HERE to learn more about my newest project: a fictional character which helps me to share my life experiences with the world. Stay tuned to learn more about updates, its release and more.
My roommate wrote a biased biography of me
A retired writer, who now does it as a hobby, made this short biography of me, based on what he’s observed over the course of the one year he’s known me.
“A sensationally handsome Latino model who greatly enjoys sucking his own penis, a rare talent in which he is not very good at. His penis isn’t especially big by gay porn standards, and he’s only unshaven because he says that’s what sells best. He has supernaturally white teeth. His artistic ad has no obvious sales pitch. It only features his superb body and emphasizes his skills and interests. He claims to have an uncircumcised 8” long penis, which he does not. He’s also not the age he claims to be.
“Photos and videos do not depict his subtle eyebrow tattoos that make them look bushier. There are no pictures online of LaBruce with a female partner, even though he claims he is bisexual. His sex pictures are exclusively homosexual; even transexuals don’t appear. His female partner, which he claims he has sex with, acts more like a personal secretary.
“His tapes are well-filmed and quite conventional. There is nothing too wild. He always takes control of what’s happening and never simply lets go. There’s never an indication of pleasure on his part. Occasionally LaBruce produces squeaky noises when he’s being sucked or rimmed. In other words, there is no evidence of pleasure. When he ejaculates, which he can do without touching himself anywhere, he doesn’t laugh or even smile. His facial expression is a grimace. After five seconds, it’s as if nothing had happened. The few exceptions to this look studied and artificial. This is very strange. He says he doesn’t think of anything when he’s squirting.
“There are no pictures of him bottoming. He tops vigorously and at length. He’s an unusually enthusiastic and uninhibited rimmer. In his videos, he kisses, but not much as of lately. He presents himself as a top. He claims he likes sex. But not so if you look closer. It doesn’t look to me he likes sex in the interactive sense. He likes making himself feel good. He says his favourite activity is sucking himself and eating being his second favourite. But does he care what a partner might feel? Usually he doesn’t look at his partners in any intimate way. When he sees his partners’ reactions is only to see if that will intensify LaBruce’s own sensations rather than seeing if what he’s doing is getting a favourable reaction. He’s usually good in his solo photos at making it appear he’s looking right at the viewer, although he’s actually looking at himself in a mirror or at the camera’s monitor. If he ever has sex for fun is a mystery.
“LaBruce only uses a condom to collect and show off his voluminous semen. He often uses common Erectile Dysfunction treatments to make sure he can appear aroused. Friendly urologists, who prescribe the medicine, don’t ask whether you want the prescription because you’re a whore.
“LaBruce’s sex videos are unusual because they’re often unedited over the course of the time he’s erect, which can be one hour. He wants to be wealthy to be free to do whatever he wants. He’s written a historical novel and is about halfway through a contemporary one, though he hasn’t been able to work on it because he’s been too busy this year.”
First of all, this deserves a little context, which is basically the fact that anger has made the writer’s biases show up. Anger arose due to a little misunderstanding that we had just recently. I would be rich if I had a coin for every time I’ve heared a gay man question a self-claimed-bisexuality. You can notice the biographer’s pitch when he writes “LaBruce claims to be bisexual, but… [I doubt so, because…]”. Why does he even need to emphasize that “I say I have sex with my female partner”? Do I need to show it on cam to be true? Do I even need to do it so that my bisexuality is not questioned? That’s truly outrageous.
Just because you’re gay, doesn’t mean that everyone who sleeps with men is. And just because there aren’t tapes of a model starring females or trans, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want them to happen. The few female models that I’ve contacted to collaborate have never replied. Not even being “big names”. And I’m still talking with the only one trans model that have come across who’s willing to film with me. I am simply fed-up of gay men questioning bisexuality. I even feel like these “attackers” are thrilled to see someone more like them instead of accepting that people are different. Women, generally speaking, are very hard to get. Most gay men, and especially those who have never had a straight relationship, don’t know that. They don’t know the hassles a man has to go through to get a woman’s attention. Ain’t nobody got that for that. I like men and women, but men do like me back. I am too intelligent to fight for something that I can get rather easily instead. Women like me too, but they do so with reservations. They are naturally attention-craving creatures, and I am a busy person. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like them. Realistically speaking, odds are very low that I will get to film with a female.
I’m not unshaven just because that’s what sells best. I am unshaven because that’s what sells best and because I got bored of my shaven looks. I am not very good at sucking myself and neither do I say so. There are many other things I am also not very good at. I won’t even contest that. The thing about the 8″ measure is actually more complex than that: I call it “penis inflation” and I have even written about it here. In a world where most people are inflating those standards, it is only wise to call mine an 8″. But saying that I don’t have an 8″ penis without giving the context (penis inflation), is pure sensationalism. Age is also similar: the stereotype of age is usually against someone who takes good care of himself and it is simply not fair.
The criticism of how I appear on sex tapes is completely acceptable. Everything is subjective and everyone has their own opinion about it. I personally don’t like dirty sex. It doesn’t turn me on at all; hence, I seek not to give that impression. I also don’t like noisy sex. I am too intelligent to get aroused from silly words during a sexual encounter. Give me a sex novel and I’ll get aroused by the words I read in it, or by those same words if I listen to the audiobook. Yes to fantasy. No to senseless words. It even annoys me that people can think of “natural sex” being noisy. I have had lots of sex during my life and the noise component of it is a fabrication of porn. And it is a very annoying one.
I can’t believe that someone can find it unnatural not to be noisy in sex. Noisy sex is like kissing with your eyes open. Distracting for the senses. That’s why there are people like me, who prefer European cinema over American cinema. It is sober, slow, silent. It focuses on emotions rather than focusing on over-exciting the senses of the viewer. I like to feel and I hope I can convey what I do feel when I film my sexual encounters, both solo and non-solo. There will be divided opinions whether or not I’m doing a good job at it. But I’m not willing to contest that. I am happy that the viewers that like my videos can feel the same way I do when I film them: aroused. And too busy being aroused to focus on what’s showing on cam. My videos are good quality but they are very natural and even amateur. That’s why they aren’t edited much after being filmed. Saying that I don’t enjoy sex because of someone’s perception, is like saying that European film is not real cinema just because it doesn’t change the camera angle every 20 seconds.
I found it mean to read that “I don’t care about what my partners are feeling”. Sex is an interaction (even masturbation, when it’s filmed). My way to interact with my partners is to let them be. The biography made it even look like I am masturbating using their body, which isn’t so. But it can be if that’s what my partner specifically asks for. I care within my means but the level of care differs according to each one’s own standards.
I am not looking at a mirror when I shoot videos or photos. With a photographer, I’m looking at him, through the camera he’s using right in his face. When I film my own videos, I’m often looking at the phone’s screen because I need to be in the video. It has happened that I have a great masturbation and it didn’t show well on video because I wasn’t checking. I’m not looking at it to fool anyone into thinking that I’m looking at them. That even sounds as if it were malicious. It is only natural to look at the camera. We all were taught to do so from a young age. The smiles and expressions are not an artificial fabrication. They are the interaction with the viewer. Because, as much as the biographer disagrees, I do care about others. I know it isn’t all about me. I wouldn’t be filming if I thought that way. I do because I like to share. And I care about what the viewer will watch. Plus, if I was that bad of a selfish person in sex, why would my partners speak good about it?
I do use ED drugs as an enhancement. Yet again, the writer emphasizes that to make it look like I wouldn’t be aroused otherwise. I like sex without ED drugs, but how else can a man be able be a top, laying on his back for a long time while keeping himself fully hard? It is like saying that if you drink alcohol, you’re not truly enjoying a party. You are, and you’d enjoy the party without drinking. But it is more fun if you add a couple of cocktails. Furthermore, the statement that “a urologist prescribes medicine without asking if you are a whore” is merely pejorative and there’s only rage in it. My doctor prescribes my medicine because he has analysed my case and because he believes I am a candidate to be prescribed so. Disapproving of a doctor’s job, for which they prepare several years, is not only outrageous but completely out of scope for what a biography is worth.
I hope I covered all points that were worthy of a reply from my side. My closing statement to the jury (so-to-say) is: the facts on the biography are mostly true. However, the perception, the bias, and the tone in which it is written have a malicious intent: to demerit an entertainer’s job, who does pretty much the same as any other one in the same field does.
My harassment experience in Mexico in the 2010's
The capital of the taco & endless summer: Mexico… But look closer. Much of the violence in this world comes from someone close to you; my harasser was actually “a friend of mine”. Or so I thought before I broke free…
I am a man. I was born a man and I have always identified myself as such. That doesn’t mean, however, that I would never experience harassment in my life. Mexico. The capital of the sun, the taco, endless summer, and beach parties. But there’s more than that if you look closer. And just as much of the violence in this world comes from someone close to you, my harasser was actually “a friend of mine”. Or so I thought before I broke free. The story goes like this…
I was younger back then. If I only knew then what I know now. But I didn’t. I’ll call him “Josue” to keep his real name a secret. He was very good with words. His social intelligence was remarkable, and that’s why he had friends of all ages and all places. He had a good heart. Please bear with me; having good intentions is not all there is to say to judge wether or not someone can make another one’s life miserable. You may have seen how fanatics destroy other people’s lives when they don’t think the same way they do. Well, I didn’t think the same way he did. I believe that freedom is a human right; he believed that those who thought that way needed to be fixed and put back into the right track.
He had a good heart. But having good intentions is not all there is to say to judge wether or not someone can make another one’s life miserable.
He was always eager to help others. In his will to help me, and his will to treat himself with an intelligent young guy, he got me a job. He knew I wouldn’t agree to being his secretary, not after having finished an engineering career and having “a promising future” in that field. Through statements that I would later discover were lies, he trapped me into being his personal secretary. I was not completely against it. I thought of it as “a step” in my life while I figured out where to go next. I was told I would be the secretary of someone whose business was Public Relations. Later on, things became shady. Due to confidenciality issues, I won’t give away the details of what his business really was, plus that will only fuel the stereotype of Mexican culture. Enough is to say that Josue’s business wasn’t the one that he used to claim it was. Once I discovered that, I knew I needed out right away.
Fool me: I wasn’t fast enough. While I was designing my plan to get away, I kept on learning too much information of what he was being paid for. I read real-life stories of how people who work for the CIA as undercovered agents target “bad guys” and make a positive impact in the world. But that is pure fantasy for the average person who knows too much information. Things aren’t nearly as romantic as they show in the movies or in the internet, for that matter. I was alone with no one to share what I knew and what I was going through.
I read real-life stories of how people who work for the CIA as undercovered agents target “bad guys” and make a positive impact in the world. But things aren’t nearly as romantic as they show in the movies.
Let’s not go too deep into details. Let’s skip the part where brand-new vehicles with no license plates on are involved with rush tasks. Let’s also skip the part in which real guns appear in the story. Also, the murders of two men, years apart, but under the very same circumstances. And the not-very-mysterious disappearance of cash and cell phones. No to all that. It may have not happened at all and maybe I am making it up… But it frightens me to think that I’m not. All I can give is “the benefit of the doubt”.
One day I discovered old letters from Josue’s family. I was not being nosy. I was a personal secretary, remember? That’s how I learnt that Josue had put his mother into a mental institution to get rid of her. His relatives did obviously not appreciate that at all. In the correspondence, I learnt what his family thought of him. In their own words they told him, “all you care about is your money and your power”. Josue used to say those words often along with saying that he had no family because they didn’t appreciate his efforts to help others. He despised Christmas and he even called himself “Grinch”. Needless is to say that his version of the story always differed from the one his family said.
I never challenged him about anything, even after I had learnt so much about him, his past experience with his family, and his business. Yet, he didn’t want to let me go. I tried to get away “in good terms”, so to say. But I noticed he wouldn’t just let me. There are no words to describe the angst that someone can feel under those circumstances. I didn’t know what he was capable of. Well, I actually did know, and that’s why I feared for my own life and my beloved ones’. It didn’t really help that a common friend of Josue’s and mine, Axel, was always telling me that “I got into all that shit myself”. How in the world can an innocent recent graduate craving for a job be wrong for having been dragged with lies into a world that he never wanted to be a part of! People like Axel are the ones who think that girls who get raped are in fault for dressing provocatively. It is outrageous and whatever word is bigger in meaning than that.
How in the world can an innocent recent graduate craving for a job be wrong for having been dragged with lies into a world that he never wanted to be a part of!
The harassment that I went through started in the Spring of 2017. I felt so bad that I thought of killing myself. And I was serious about doing it. I fell ill for more than one full month. I could barely get out of bed. Every time I’d hear my phone ring, my legs became weak and I felt cold. I always thought it was him. And most of the time it was him. I even got PTSD from that that lasted several years. He always got new cell phone numbers after I kept on blocking the previous ones he had. I became his obsession. All he wanted was to have me around. He was a lonely man who lived alone and had no one in his life. I was simply too caring, too smart and fun for him to let go of me. He invented all sorts of lies that are simply too long and even pathetic to write. He threatened me with what I cared about the most back then. In my will to keep my life the same, I kept on agreeing to his terms. But I did so only while I designed a plan to go away. Weeks and months of suffering went by.
He threatened me with what I cared about the most back then. In my will to keep my life the same, I kept on agreeing to his terms.
In my desperation I called Pablo, a guy about my age who had worked for him too. We weren’t friends but I had his phone number from Josue’s contact list. All I knew is that Pablo hadn’t finished in the best terms when he had stopped working for Josue. In that phone call, everything changed. He helped me to save my life and he probably won’t ever know it. He’s the one who told me that Josue was a mythomaniac. Everything finally made sense. There is one saying that goes “there is no madman that eats fire”. Yes, Josue was a liar but he knew how and when to lie. He only did so when it was in his favour.
Knowing that he was a compulsive liar, and having found sense in how everything around him happened the way it did, I discovered that there was only one way to break free from him: to tell him that he was free to do whatever he wanted to do but to stop threatening me. As they say, “a dog that barks, doesn’t bite”. And it was true. He never did “bite”. Once I gave him the freedom to do as he pleased, he never did anything against me or against the people I loved and still do. Not even today do I know if he never did so because he didn’t feel like it, because he felt defeated, because all he wanted was to have me around but not to hurt me, or because he knew I was simply too smart to fool with something happening “under suspicious circumstances” while he was around. He may have also known that I was too passionate to let him get away with anything if he did. And my knowing too much about him didn’t play in his favour either.
Knowing that he was a compulsive liar, I discovered that there was only one way to break free from him: to tell him that he was free to do whatever he wanted to do but to stop threatening me.
But it’s all in the past now. Josue’s mother has died. I don’t know what happened of him, since he doesn’t doesn’t speak publicly anymore as he used to. He eventually stopped calling when he realised it was too much energy to get a new phone number everytime he wanted to talk to me. I stopped reading his emails and he stopped emailing me. I believe I became “someone that he used to know”. But to me, he will never be so. He’ll ever be what he truly was: a manipulator who liked things done his way without thinking of how that affected others; a person whose will was above everyhting, even above what we value the most: human life.
The theurapeutic powers of meeting your favourite star
I used to think that I didn’t have a favourite star. I thought that I was an abnormal human because there was no famous person in the world for whom I could care the smallest bit. Movie stars, the presidents of nations, the creators of famous brands, super models. No one. I couldn’t care less about any of those. But that didn’t mean I didn’t have a favourite star. I actually did have one. I was simply looking in the wrong sphere. My favourite star was no politician, he wasn’t a beauty icon, and he didn’t own a famous business. He goes by the pseudonym “Satanic Yoga” and his prowesses were very well known by a rather small circle. The moment I met him in person, I knew my life would change forever.
I wish there was in words a way to make justice in conveying my feeling of excitement when I saw him riding his bike towards me at the place where we both had agreed upon for meeting up. The instant I saw him, I knew I was as human as any of my friends or pretty much anyone else I’ve known. I did have a favourite star. He, to whom we’ll refer as “SY” from now on, didn’t and doesn’t have any superpower. But it is his talent, along with his remarkable charm, makes him be the icon he is. I was nervous; I was impatient. Is he taller than he looks like on the screen? Is he serious, playful, smiley, easy-going, quiet, crazy… What is he like? There wasn’t enough time in the first few minutes to answer to all the questions in my head. And I couldn’t let him know how excited I was. What would he think of me? I know very well that first impressions matter and I was not going to ruin my only one.
We greeted each other. We chatted. We laughed. We filmed together. I was shocked to learn that there was a real person behind that someone whom I had only seen on a screen. A real person with a real life, with everything that life is about: goals, challenges, likes, and dislikes, hobbies, a job, etc. It isn’t like I didn’t know this before, but it wasn’t just any person: he was my favourite star. He was that someone of whom I wanted to know everything I could. He was that one person whose autograph on our photo would make my heart pound. I finally understood what people feel when they get an autograph from their favourite star. And having the chance to spend time with him on top of that, was a privilege and a dream.
I wanted to thank life for having granted me the great opportunity to meet SY in person. I knew how fortunate I was to have him in front of me, let alone to be in front of him in that one-to-one, face-to-face setting. I knew I was representing the thousands of people who would like to be in my place. And I knew it was my responsibility to deliver a message from all who think the same way I do, to tell him how much we love what he does and what he means in our little circle of enthusiast who do the same thing. That same thing in which he excels at. Something inspiring that brings people dreams and hope.
Yes, I was shocked to meet him. But I was even more so when he told me that he knew who I was. That he had seen some of my material and he liked what I did. He even found in our conversation something to learn. Knowing that the learning went both ways was re-assuring, as I used to think that our encounter would be more like a one-way street, with only me listening to everything he’d say. Yet, he listened to me, as well. That modesty of his made my heart grow bigger. I already thought so high of him, and seeing that side of him made me think of how I’d love to be humble if I was ever someone’s favourite star too. To whomever it may be: someone in my family, a student of mine, a neighbour, a friend, etc.
SY taught me a lot in the few hours that we shared together. He taught me I am human by showing me how human he is. He taught me to be humble. He gave me encouragement in what I do. And among the many things that I learnt from that one experience in August 2022, I learnt that meeting one’s own favourite star can and does change one’s life in such a way, that it is has theurapeutic powers, capable of bringing joy, healing, and even humility and re-assurance.
Why, How and When to quit sex work when you love doing it
There are people who genuinely love sex work. Then why would anyone who truly sees prostitution as a lifestyle, and enjoys seeing clients, want to quit? Once that hard decision is made, when is it the right moment to do so? And most importantly: how does anyone quit sex work when they love doing it?
“Sex work is a very profitable career. But it is also a very unfaithful one.”
Sex work is a very profitable path. And for those who truly enjoy everything around it, it doesn’t feel like a job but rather as part of what they are. But there’s a caveat here: as profitable as it is, it is also a very unfaithful career. The meaning of unfaithful here is hypotetically speaking, as if prostitution had “a mind of its own”. It isn’t so. But if it was, it would be very disloyal in the sense that it doesn’t reciprocate proportionally to what it gets.
Sex work cares about how passionate a provider is. But it doesn’t care about it nearly as much as it does about the attributes that someone has. Physical appeal, for example, will always be the attribute of choice. Hence, the most passionate provider can only be appropriately recriprocated from sex work if he also has the highest physical appeal. Otherwise, there will always be a disproportion on what the provider gives and what it gets from it. Quitting sex work can be the solution to those who feel this way. It can be the solution to those who see other providers doing better with way less passion than what they’re putting on it. It is the same in any other career: not always does the best worker get compensated the most. The only difference is that prostitution can be a profession in which pride plays an important role, and providers can be particularly sensitive to this occurence.
“Quitting sex work can be the solution to those who see other providers doing better with way less passion than what they’re putting on it”
Among the many other reasons to quit sex work even when you love doing it are: conflicts with personal goals, time or availability changes, a better job offer, etc. This last thing, can likely make the money from sex work look little in comparison. Being money used as a standard to know where our potential is needed, it can make someone feel that they are simply called to do something else instead. Personal goals can range anything from a newborn baby to a retirement in the Caribbean, which, for several reasons may make sex work a less appealing choice.
Exploring the why only leads to analyse the prospect of quitting. If a provider ever considers those to be enough reasons to go ahead and do it, then there’s the when. It can be frustrating to have the decision of quitting and not being able to, but it doesn’t have to be. Most of the times the when is defined by a certain amount of money in the bank account, having another business running, or owning a house. That is something very personal that only a provider can know for themselves. A wise time to quit, as a general rule, is that moment in which another business or commercial activity brings at least as much profits as those that sex work does.
“One day, just as they once had a very first customer, they will have a very last one”
Finally, there is a procedure to follow when the time to quit prositution comes. Again, it isn’t the same for everyone, but quitting sharply doesn’t tend to go well in most cases. Just like quitting a drug, the full, sudden withdrawal can create issues. A most effective way to quit is doing it slowly but wisely, to keep on getting the maximum potential that prostitution has to offer. If someone wants to see only 1 clients per week and stop meeting 1 per day, instead of choosing randomly, they can set up a new bid margin, so that only 1 of the 7 calls actually happens. By slowly letting go of clients under a new “asking price” so-to-speak, the calls will eventually settle to that number in which the provider feels comfortable to go on and take the next step. And they will keep on doing it until one day, just as they once had a very first customer, they will have a very last one.
My experience as a porn actor at Lucas Entertainment
The fact that I wasn’t getting any younger didn’t help me to resolve my dilemma: “should I or should I not star in porn?” I wanted to. And something inside my heart kept on telling me that I would be good at it. But how would I even start if I wasn’t on social media at all? By making a list of the porn studios that I liked and applying to be a performer. And wasn’t I lucky? Lucas Entertainment did call me and invited me for an online interview. Yes: back in 2018, before they were even trendy.
I attended the interview online. It was with Michael Lucas himself. Many people have complained (even publicly) about his unprofessionalism with unorthodox interviews, both online and in-person, but mine went well. It was straight to the point. I was invited, he said. I would hear back from his team later that day. And I did. They said that I was to buy my own flight and that they would pay me back, rather than them flying me to the filming location (Mexico) due to many no-show-ups and last-minute change-of-minds that they had otherwise. It was only logical to me that many people are not completely sure whether or not they want to get into porn, and go through all the process just for the thrill, the excitement, or the pride of getting an invitation to participate. Hence, I did get myself to Mexico ready for a new adventure.
Our four-way porn video was and is terrific. There was so much chemistry. Ruslan Angelo told me that I would be great in porn as a career. And he even shared his story about having come out to his family himself. I wasn’t scared of going through the same process. If anything, it felt empowering to imagine coming out as someone who did a different type of job but did it right. Why was it empowering? I got into porn because I was being constantly and endlessly harassed by someone back in Mexico. His threats to “out me” had become a means to control me. It was so much more than I could stand so one day I decided to stop it. And my way to do it was drastic: I would star in a porn film so that neither he nor anyone could ever blackmail me. What is there to blackmail a porn star with, after all?
I was very shy around everyone from the production team. I didn’t watch much porn myself and neither was I on social media back then. Everything was new to me. I wanted to learn everything. Or de-learn, if that’s even a verb, because I used to think that personal details of one’s own life would hurt a career in porn as a profession. But Dakota Payne dressing up and doing make-up proved me wrong. (Dakota Payne and I were supposed to have a hot scene together, which fate made, for some reason, not happen back then). Then, Andrey Vic proved me wrong yet again, being openly bisexual himself. As a bisexual guy myself, it was reasurring to learn that.
Yes, social media was already a thing back in 2018, but I only began using it after Michael Lucas told all new-comers to do so. I opened my twitter account, but I did it cautiously: it was a private account. It wasn’t private because I was shy about being outed to my friends and family. It was so, because of the fear I still had that the same conservative people would keep on harassing me the way they used to when I lived in Mexico. Michael Lucas and I took a taxi to the airport together, as our flights had similar times. I was shocked to learn that he was not travelling First Class. I am not a shallow guy myself who cares about those details. Instead, I was concerned: would this porn production company pay me at all? Well, they did. Free flights, free accommodation, free food, and free advertising. The pay itself was less than just a little: I made around $500 for the two scenes I was in, in approximately one-week I spent there.
Fortunately, my aim was not to get rich. I wanted to feel liberated and empowered, which I did. Today, I am no longer a student and I don’t find in $500 nearly the same value that I did back then. But I thank Michael and his team for having opened me the door to this world that was so unbeknownst to me: a non-judgemental world, full of understanding, where individuality and personal attributes are valuable assets rather than secrets to keep. I am ever thankful, because these are the people I want to surround myself with, and this is the world that I want to keep on being a part of.
A big part of the person I am today comes from my past experiences in regards to the realm of sex. It is through sex that I have gotten to know the world around me. This one experience did change my life for good, as I like the place where I stand now, and I wish I can keep myself here, where I like to be.
The magic of writing fiction to tell a story
I believe that everyone has a story to tell. As little as it may seem, there’s always something to share with others. I have ever felt that way. The way I’ve conducted my life has taken me to unusual paths and made me live interesting experiences that are completely out of what’s considered “normal”. Yes: I have a lot to say. But the thought of opening myself to others, let alone to an unknown audience (as is the case of writing publicly on the internet), frightened me. I simply don’t feel safe, confident, or comfortable enough to let others know what I’ve lived. There are many reasons to feel that way. So many, that it could easily be a posting on its own. But let’s leave that aside. Today I’m going to share with you what I consider to be the ultimate solution to share your life experiences with others without any of the negative effects of doing so: writing fiction.
Fiction is, as defined by the Oxford Dictionary, “a type of literature that describes imaginary people and events, not real ones”. Literature, together with sculpture, is one of the most neglected fine arts. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable than it is. Fiction is simply one of the ways in which literature can be expressed. And just like music or theatre, it allows the artist to share their feelings, to open up and tell their story. How can you ever tell something without making yourself responsible for what is told? By using fiction. We all have positive and negative attributes in ourselves. We all have evil and goodness inside us. How can we convey our deepest sorrow without letting our happiness interfere with it? And how can we tell the happiest occurrence leaving all our sadness aside? By making use of fiction. By letting the magic of the creation of fictional characters take over and by letting them live their own lives.
By taking real-life persons and turning them into fictional characters, not only do we get to share a story. We also get to know those persons better (both in real-life and the fictional one). By writing everyday, we let them be and develop their own life. It is truly magic how a character can convey a real-life story extrapolated into the fictional terrain. The essence of the real occurrence is kept. All feelings exist and they revive the deepest emotions when the story is read. It is simply the characters which are fictional rather than real. Hence, the writer is not held “responsible” for whatever happens in the story.
There’s always a painting workshop, a music class, or a theatre play in summer-school. But not often do we see literature along with them. Fiction, as a part of literature, is a hidden gem when it comes to sharing wonderful stories with others. It allows us to revive a life experience and to make others around us see it from outside as well. If you were waiting for a signal to start writing fiction, this is it: give it a try and discover the magic in inventing fictional characters to tell your story.
No. Here’s why OnlyFans is Not an online brothel
Have you ever heard the story of the old man, his son, and the donkey? That fable read to children in which no matter what you do, you can never please everyone. There’s a similar situation going on with OnlyFans and similar adult-social-media platforms being called “pimps”, “online brothels”, or simply “e-brothels”. I invite you to analyse the situation with me and to find out the good, the bad, and the ugly behind such allegations.
Let’s start from the assumption that you’re familiar with the way OnlyFans, Just for Fans, ForMyFans, FanCentro, and others operate. They basically allow content creators (much of which is adult-oriented) to charge for a monthly subscription and/or to sell their content there. Such a great idea boomed in 2020 with many people staying at home during the pandemic. Hence, these social networks have become subject of the public’s eye, whose stance towards them has been in many instances disapproving. Some posts have scandalous titles such as them wrecking the economy, and some others claiming that they are immoral. This never-ending attack towards sex work tends to be based in pure hatred and little arguments to really support the claims.
Haters have claimed that OF has opened the door for so-called “content-creators” to advertise the sale of online-sex. While it is true that OF is used as a means for the advertising and profiting from content, it is only its users who decide that adult-material is the one to make money from. Nobody is making its users create adult-oriented media. And a platform connecting a customer (viewer) to a seller (creator), is not directly profiting from whatever those two parties are doing: it is simply getting a share from making the connection between the two. A physical brothel has premises where sex workers can advertise and see clients, and it gives them a certain hour shift for them to work. OF as an alleged online-brothel does not share any of those features in common: nobody is given a shift to operate and do whatever they want to do with their own business. Furthermore, it doesn’t advertise its workers at all. They advertise themselves and it’s only the content creators themselves who decide to do so, if they do.
Saying thatSaying that OF is an online-brothel is equivalent to saying that marijuana growers are making people fall into addiction. Marijuana has demonstrated to bring many benefits to some people; some others simply want to and will take a wrong path. OF has opened the door to connect creators with customers; and it is only them who can decide what to do with that power. No one is playing the devil’s advocate here. A fair ethical analysis allows us to realise that anyone is free to make their own choices as long as they don’t harm others, which is the case here with adults deciding to create and sell their content. Speaking just for the sake of speaking seems to govern the arguments of those who oppose sex work, e-sex-work, and any other type of action that involves consenting adults making their own choices without harming others.
Think twice before getting into STEM just for the high demand and money
It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day at my Engineering class in Mexico. We were in the last semester, soon to get into the workforce through internships. Worth noting that internships in Mexico are 100% legal, 100% required, and may be 100% unpaid without becoming illegal. They are equivalent to a free 6-month job position that is part of the course work in order to complete a bachelor degree, but let’s not digress and delve into the outrage that it causes on itself. A man entered and asked the professor to speak to the class for 5 minutes. He invited us to do our internships with his team at a research laboratory. When he finished his presentation, he asked us if we had any questions for him. I did so I raised my hand and asked, “how much is the monthly income expected to be there working with your team at the laboratory?”
Upset and clearly disappointed with my question he replied, “if you’re doing it for the money, then this position is simply not for you”. He shut my mouth. He shut the mouth of a 23-year-old guy whose aspirations in working in the engineering field were too high for what the field had to offer, apparently. I know that research is not all there is to say about STEM. Let alone that laboratory that we were invited to work at. But this story serves as an example of the many exceptions to what’s believed to be a law. Not all STEM jobs are lucrative after all.
To my dismay, what seemed to be originally a one-time occurence turned out to be the norm: many people working in the engineering field were happy to conceal their salaries at all times. I don’t conceal my non-engineering income. I disclose it with pride to any friend who’s interested in knowing that. But some of them don’t. And they don’t for many reasons, being one this: because it is outrageous and even shameful that after 5 long years of post secondary education, an engineer’s income is so little. That’s especially true for a career with so much sacrifice to accomplish. Is studying STEM good for the money or is it good only for the achievement? The latter seems to be the case in some instances.
I don’t speak just for the sake of speaking. I raise my voice to advise all those willing to follow so-called “profitable careers” to think twice before getting into them. I advise you to do your own research and find out if the career path is really as profitable as it seems to be. Sure, statistics are all over the internet, but have you really asked someone you know about their salary? Will statistics apply to you? Do you have connections, word-of-recommendation in the field, friends and family who will leave you their job position when they retire? And will they retire at all? All that and more deserves to be deeply evaluated because things won’t get any better once you’re in it. Believe me: they won’t. If you don’t like the shoes at the store, you won’t like them once you have bought them either.
Things have been “getting better” for the last five years and we ain’t see nothing. This isn’t by any means a letter from a bitter person whose luck in the engineering field didn’t go the way he expected. It is rather an invitation to explore other paths. There are many other ways to make money and there are many other disregarded careers that are very profitable too. Sometimes we overlook them because they often aren’t in the mainstream fields. And there is so much talent wasted because some talented people go to STEM only because of the money that is believed to be there. And what about passion? What about everything that each individual is actually good for and loves doing for a living? Having the brains for STEM doesn’t mean that someone must go for STEM.
A big problem with how our economy is based, is that it relies too much on appearances and too little on trust. Being an engineer is seen as way more “respectable” than being a musician, for example. It is the same in daily life than it is in the work field: other people’s perception about us is taken for fact before we are even given a chance to show ourselves to them and prove what we’re actually good at. A letter of recommendation from an employer will ever be taken as the whole truth, with little being considered to be truth if it’s coming from an applicant’s own words. Sure, people lie, and it is wise to be a little sceptical, but what are the chances of having someone lying on their resume? Are they really higher than them telling the truth? For as long as our society keeps on putting too much value on money and status, people will keep on going down the wrong path. I advise everyone to follow their passion rather than the money, but to always ask the question with no shame: “how much will I be paid in this position?”
Can Artificial Intelligence create art
A creative response to Kevin Berger’s post “I Am Not a Machine. Yes You Are – Debating the Impact of machine-created art,” Nautilus Science Magazine, December 4th, 2019. https://nautil.us/picassos-got-nothing-on-ai-artists-8642/
The following eight museums are host to most of the most acclaimed art pieces ever created in the world: The Hermitage, The Armoury Chamber, and The Tretyakov Gallery in Russia; The Louvre in France, The Sistine Chapel, The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City in the USA, The British Museum in the UK, and The Palace of Fine Arts in Mexico. Computers can create wonderful and certainly very appealing things. But by saying that they can create art, their definition or art and that of the Oxford Dictionary are completely different. Art is the use of imagination to express ideas or feelings.
Beethoven, Chopin, and Rachmaninoff are not simply the names behind some of the most beautiful musical pieces ever written. They are persons who lived a life. Each one of them did. Behind each composition, and through them especially, they tell a bit of their lives in Germany, Poland, and Russia, which were the Holy Roman Empire, the Duchy of Warsaw, and the Russian Empire back then. Listening to them is like getting into a time machine and seeing a little bit of that world of theirs. A computer can create beautiful compositions, indeed. By learning the style, machines could easily fool us into thinking that their creation is something from the twentieth century when it is just something of their own, done in 2022. Does that make it art? No. Art is history. Art is emotion. Art is expression. It is not only the final product but the path to get there.
In today’s economy, it is easy to fall into the trap of defining art’s value by its selling price. Adolf Hitler’s paintings are not any better than anyone else’s were at that same level. However, several pieces of his collection sold for $500,000 at an auction in Bavaria in recent years. There is way more to art than just the print itself. There is a story behind an artist; art can be imitated but someone’s life cannot be. Now what’s a banana taped to the wall and sold for $120,000 in December 2019? Pure absurdity from Maurizio Cattelan’s to convey a satirical message. But that isn’t art. Art is creation; art is organising the natural chaos; art is getting the best of us to build something. What about Thailand’s paintings made by elephants and sold for $40,000 a piece? Well that is art. Because it involves the creation of something from the chaos of nature. Money doesn’t define the real value of a piece of art. And we can’t judge the value of it without knowing the story behind it. Just in the same way that clothing brands are more than just the name, art is more than just what we see. It is the whole history behind it what gives it value.
Now, we don’t have to disagree on whether or not machines can create art. Yes, they can, but not quite yet. Probably not in our lifetimes. To create art, Artificial Intelligence has to learn emotions and has to be able to build their own ideas. They have to live and create their own history, as it is that precise feature that defines feelings and hence good art, art worthy of admiration in the same way we admire our human art today. One day AI will live through emotions and create history; only then will they be able to create art.
Straight guys gone curious...
As of lately, being early 2022 when I’m writing this post, I’ve noticed something that I’ve found very interesting: By looking closely, it can be seen how straight guys who only post straight content on their social media stream, actually like and follow pages, posts and/or people with gay content only.
I am, indeed, not surprised by it. If anything, I’m very happy that more men are finally daring to explore their sexuality, our sexuality, and live it as fluidly as it can be. There is no bigger joy in terms of a happy sexual life than experimenting and being open minded to trying new things.
I sometimes see straight fellows like my videos. When that happens, I get very excited recalling all those occasions in which my straight bros at school made a gay joke, comment, or even action. Always playfully, of course. Yet, no joke is ever just a joke, but rather the release of hidden emotions or thoughts that have passed through our minds. Here I stand, welcoming and encouraging all and any of those men who are willing to live an experience with another man, to go ahead and do it.
Bisexuality cannot be written as the percentage that someone is into one gender and the other, being 100% in total. That’s because an experience with another male does not make a man less of a man. And the fact that a guy likes other guys, doesn’t automatically take away any of his attraction to women. As the Marquis de Sade once wrote: the sun doesn’t become less bright because of shining for others. There is enough sun for everyone to enjoy, just as we can feel enough attraction towards women and men alike.
Smart Sex Work: putting beauty to work
Sex workers come in all faces and shapes but it is no secret that more beauty brings more success in that particular field, just as in modelling and even acting, to a certain degree. People police sex workers due to a many different things, and a main criticism towards them is because sex workers have put their beauty to work.
The fact that someone takes advantage of their beauty is a source of envy and disapproval. Let alone using that beauty along with sexual energy to get direct financial benefit: that’s a source of pure outrage. Why? That’s simply because of two main things: first, beauty is mainly inherited and hardly worked for; secondly, we’ve been taught in our society to abide by the rules. Such rules dictate that “selling your body is wrong”. Hence, it creates a great feeling of discontent to see others simply bypassing that rule to take advantage of it.
Let’s analyse the statement closer: “selling your body is wrong”. Why is it wrong? “Because it is wrong to sell your body.” Why is it wrong? “Because selling your body is wrong”. This is called, in philosophy, the “fallacy of begging the question”, which leads to pseudo-debating in circles without getting anywhere. There are stronger arguments to support this premise: because of STIs, crime, and high expense on social resources, but that’s a topic for another discussion. Today we’ll talk about “putting beauty to work”.
We can’t talk about beauty without mentioning the Caribbean. Is it wrong that Caribbean countries profit with their beauty? This isn’t meant to be a rhetorical question to trap the reader into making an extrapolated analogy with sex work. This is a question to ask ourselves: is it wrong that a country profits from its beauty? Is tourism as an industry wrong?
When intelligence is put to work, there is no dilemma whether or not that’s beneficial to society. Yet, it is also a gift from God which someone put to work to get profit from it. A scientist did work hard to get his renown but nobody worked hard to get what was given to them at birth, be it beauty or intelligence. It is wrong to punish people for whatever choices they do with their lives. Analysing a sex worker’s right to do their work should not depend on how intelligent that person is or how capable of finding an alternative means of income they are. A prostitute is only enforcing their own right to do what they please with their own body. The contempt that society feels towards them and their work is society’s fault only, for having put too much value on beauty. Sex workers are only filling an area of opportunity that is in great demand: people pay for beauty, and those who have some, are in every right to put it to work.
Why do people claim sex work is wrong
Prostitution was, for many centuries, seen as a normal activity. Everything changed when syphilis was brought into Europe by the Spaniards after the discovery of the Caribbean Islands in the late XV century. Ever since, condoms were introduced not as a means of contraception but as a means against disease. The occurrence of the HIV epidemic in the late XX century did also bring negative light on sex work and sexual activities. People who are unaware of those two historical facts, syphilis and HIV outbreaks, tend to believe that prostitution has always been wrong. The popular statement of “selling your body is wrong” has, surprisingly, not always been around us. Such a statement began to gain popularity in the XVI century with the introduction of syphilis into European society. Only then did parlours and brothels begin to be outlawed and penalised.
Why do people claim sex work is wrong? The statement that “Prostitution is wrong because selling your body is wrong” has no grounds by itself. This is called, in philosophy, the “fallacy of begging the question”, which leads to pseudo-debating in circles without getting anywhere. Stronger arguments to support the premise that is wrong are: STIs, crime, high expense on social resources, drugs, and human trafficking.
Sexually transmitted diseases (STIs) happen because of misinformation in society as a whole: after all, a sex worker cannot spread a disease without a client, which must have 50% the responsibility for the sexual encounter having taken place, let alone with not enough protection, which is always the client’s choice. Society is responsible for STIs happening and yet, the blame is seldom on the John and always on the sex providers.
Crime incidence is well-known to be higher in prostitution scenarios. But it isn’t the sex-money transaction that makes it be that way: crime rates are simply higher in vulnerable populations. Sex workers belong to an inherently dangerous environement. As such, society should aim to protect them and grant them the rights they deserve. A society that disregards, neglects or even punishes a minority is not progressive. Where would we be now if blacks, women, homosexuals, and other minorities hadn’t fought for their rights? In the same way that victims of rape are never in fault for “dressing provocatively”, sex workers are not to blame for “putting themselves in dangerous scenarios”. They have their own reasons to be where they are and to do what they do. They don’t have to find another path and they don’t need to be offered an alternative means of income: sex workers do not need salvation but protection.
“Sex workers do not need salvation but protection”
Another concern when it comes to sex work in a society is the higher expense that happens as a result of it. It comes in many ways: programmes to re-incorporate former sex workers back into society, higher use of anti-crime units, and public health expenses. The latter, as has been aforementioned, is not the result of sex work. Anti-crime units are indeed more demanded because of the higher vulnerability that this group belongs to; and it is in society’s power to deem them entitled to the rights and security they deserve. If that was the case, there would be no need for a higher expense in police resources. The programmes that aim to put current and former sex workers back into society cannot be criticised, as they are a normal occurrence in a bigger society. So are the programmes targeted to homeless people, people with cancer, and people with disabilities.
Some people mistakenly think that drugs are necessarily a component of prostitution. As in any other environment: there may be or there may be no drugs. Sex work doesn’t mean drugs. Drugs don’t mean crime. They only do so when society can’t handle them properly. Policing prostitution based on the incidence of drugs is unfair. It is using a stereotype to categorise people based on a judgemental presumption without being given the right to speak: not all prostitutes use drugs.
“Policing prostitution based on the incidence of drugs is unfair. It is using a stereotype to categorise people based on a judgemental presumption without being given the right to speak: not all prostitutes use drugs.”
There is a huge misconception that links human trafficking to prostitution. Human trafficking is at the same level as rape, kidnapping, and murder. It is, without a doubt, one of the most horrific things that can exist in a society. Trying to tackle human trafficking by criminalising prostitution is like trying to cover the sun with one finger. The fact that human trafficking involves the prostitution of its victims, does not mean that all prostitutes are trafficked. The vast majority of prostitutes are free men and women. Furthermore, how can the criminalisation of prostitution help against human trafficking? If sex workers are seen as outlaws, they will not help towards that cause. Special units could benefit from sex workers’ knowledge to collaborate together towards the mutual goal of eliminating human trafficking.
Prostitution was for many centuries not seen as contemptible. Everything changed after the introduction of syphilis from the Americas into Europe in the XV century and its big outbreak in the XVI century. The perception that sex work is wrong took more momentum with the HIV epidemic on the late XX century. Where do we stand right now? Is sex work still wrong in this age of science and medicine? Is it still wrong now that all STIs (HIV included) are curable and/or preventable?
Censorship
We live in a society which mistakenly believes that closing our eyes makes bad things disappear. Let alone the fact that the definition of ‘bad things’ is very subjective and whatever people in the past dictated it to be, has been carried on to us and still lives with us today. There are some things that are inherently bad to society: theft and murder, for example, can hardly bring any benefit to it. But it is as outrageous as sad to see how neutral things are also censored and prohibited. Nudity is one of them.
It is hard to imagine and understand how this wicked perception even took place. Human body is part of nature and nature is a wonderful and perfect creation. Hence, we are perfectly made and there should be no shame in our bodies, regardless of how they are. We live in a culture that promotes and endorses ‘morbid’ feelings around things. It is through the censorship of nudity that we feel aroused by it. And it isn’t wrong to feel that way, but our bodies shouldn’t be seen as something to cover up. They are not dirty and they don’t bring harm to society. It is obviously convenient to use clothes for health reasons but other than their utility for that matter, there is no other reason to use them.
The fight against censorship on nudity starts today. A small contribution to the world is all it takes to change it. Society can’t progress and advance if the same set of values and culture is maintained as if it was frozen in time. Small changes can and do make the difference: going to a nude beach, wearing smaller clothes. Yes: most people don’t approve of it. But this world belongs to the youth. Their contact with the internet has unveiled the very-well-kept secret of how a human body looks like in full nudity. Hence, newer generations can acknowledge how natural it is to embrace our own bodies and to stop feeling shame from something that must have never made us feel that way.
Toxic Masculinity
In a society in which women are fighting for their rights for equality, it is easy to miss women’s privilege and focus on that of men only. Among the many benefits that the female gender is entitled to, there is the acceptance to expressing their feelings; men doing so are not seen as living their gender roles properly.
Masculinity. It carries a lot of meaning from the biological point of view; more so from the societal consideration. Masculinity is both the propeller for innovative ventures and for reckless behaviour. How far can it go? As far as people are willing to take it. It depends on the environment: there are places, especially work places, where it can become toxic. ‘Toxic Masculinity’ is the concept that defines an environment in which the high concentration of males, creates a deviated reality of society: money, drugs, heterosexual sex, party, slurs, swearing, trucks, alcohol, and other stuff of the like are seen as something to look up to. The expression of one’s own feelings is seen as something negative and undesirable. This applies even to family love, let alone a partner’s love… homosexuality? Not even mention it.
Masculinity keeps manual labour running; it feeds the camps to incentivise work and make long shifts happen. But it is also the cause of a great depression. The higher incidence of suicide in those environments can be attributed to the toxicity of masculinity. Where does it even start? It starts not in those all-men places but in our daily stance towards the male role. We endorse it every time we say ‘men don’t cry’, ‘be a man and dare to do it’, ‘that isn’t a man’s task’.
Funny is the fact that nothing you’re reading here is new to you, for this is not a new discovery. It is something that we, as a part of this society we live in, should be consciously aware of and try to shift it to make the most out of masculinity without the toxic effects it can reach.
The Role of Sex Workers in Society
People mistakenly believe that ‘if you charge for sex, it means you don’t like it’” It is worth analysing why such a statement is wrong.
What do we tell a child who loves animals? We advise him to become a veterinarian, so that he doesn’t stay away from animals, which is what she loves. What do we tell a teenager who loves programming? We tell him he should study computer science so that he works in the field he loves. What do we tell our friend, Jerry, when he tells us he’s found out he doesn’t like medicine after studying it for 3 years, and that all his devotion is food and cooking? We advise him to follow his dreams and do what he likes so that he doesn’t feel like he has to ‘go to work’ for the rest of his life. That’s how our society works: if we do what we love the most, we thrive at what we do; we embrace it, and we want to do it. Otherwise, we feel miserable and overwhelmed by doing something we don’t like. Someone who loves sex so much can’t picture his or her life without it. Those individuals can find in sex work the path to fulfill their passion.
“Someone who loves sex so much can’t picture his or her life without it. Those individuals can find in sex work the path to fulfill their passion”
Sex work is a very particular job for many reasons. Books can be written to name them all and to talk about them in detail. One of them is the sense that many people have: they assume that those who sell sex don’t like doing it. Such a misconception may have a wide variety of origins, and it may be true in some rare instances. In all other jobs, we assume people like doing what they do: be it construction, plumbing, cleaning, daycare, teaching, nursing, medicine, engineering, etc. But prostitution as a job is automatically assumed to be disliked by those who do it. Everyday, we see people doing jobs they don’t like and yet, we never stop to question ourselves whether or not they are happy. And we acknowledge that only they can opine on it. Why do people assume all sex workers dislike what they do? Only because that’s something that you wouldn’t like doing, doesn’t mean that nobody likes it either. There are happy toddler teachers even if some people can’t stand children. In the same way, there are happy sex workers even if most people can’t stand the idea of being paid for sex.
“People mistakenly believe that those who sell sex don’t genuinely like having sex”
One of the reasons for which sex work is not taken seriously as a job is because some people believe that nobody should charge for sex. Those who believe that it must be condemned, probably ignore that it wasn’t always like that. It was accepted for many centuries until more recently, syphilis and HIV made people think of it as a cancer for society. Nowadays, that HIV is preventable and syphilis is curable and preventable, prostitution should take back its place in society. Sex work is work. As such, people who do it, deserve being paid for it. People don’t go around asking the dealer to give away cars. They acknowledge that selling cars is his means of income and it wouldn’t be sustainable for him otherwise. Same goes for a psychologist. Yet, a sex worker’s time is often underappreciated and dismissed as a profession.
Some people claim that prostitution is not a real job because prostitutes don’t produce anything tangible. Neither do psychologists, priests, artists, beggars, or politicians. Yet, they are part of our society for a reason: because some people need them. Some people benefit from improving their mental health, working on their faith and spirituality, their entertainment, their managing public resources, or their ability to make you feel like you’re helping others. Sex workers don’t produce anything tangible but they do bring many benefits to society that are very much neglected: through fulfilling fantasies, they help to prevent child abuse. Through satisfying a man’s urge to get a mistress, they prevent him from getting one, which could lead to divorce, broken families, and even murder. Through their touch they can heal emotions. Through their connection they can help those alienated from society and those who wouldn’t have a human touch otherwise. Sex workers make a society stronger through subtle actions that are very hard to measure but very easy to see.
“Some people claim that prostitution is not a real job because prostitutes don’t produce anything tangible, but sex workers make a society stronger through subtle actions that are very hard to measure but very easy to see”
Sex work isn’t the nasty, censorable action that many people want to see in it. It is an exchange of money for a service that brings lots of benefits for the customer and for society as a whole. Some years in the future, it is deemed to gain its place back in society that it once had, and it deserves.
Compulsive Writing
One of the best things about writing — or about writing beautifully, at least — is that you always get to say the last word. Who would question the veracity of a talented painter who made a portrait of his wife? We automatically consider it to be as real as it can be; he is just assumed to have done it right. Philosophy demonstrates that we, humans, are like that. The magic of being a writer is the automatic rightness that you’re granted as such. Who can refute Dostoevski, Tolstoy, or Nabokov? It’s called the writers’ privilege. Hence, writing can be so addictive to the point of reaching compulsive writing.
For those who don’t suffer from it, it is hard to believe, let alone understand, that compulsive writing exists. As its name implies, it is a form of compulsion: the irresistible urge to do something. Compulsive writing is the necessity to write. As all compulsions, it has its origin in an obsession, which is way more complex to understand than the act itself: the thought, the idea in our minds that makes you feel that you have to write. It isn’t easy to escape obsessive compulsive behavior. The feeling of reward one feels after completing the compulsion (that is, writing) is so high that the brain actively looks for it. Think of it as a drug: it is no different than drinking coffee. Coffee addicts can’t think of living without it. They make all sorts of excuses to justify why they have to drink. In the same way, compulsive writers try to find a justification for their compulsive disorder. In both scenarios the truth is that we can dispense with it. We don’t need coffee, and neither do we need to write.
And yet there is this false feeling of achievement in writing. It is addictive because there is always something to write about. No matter how far your novel is. No matter how many novels you publish. There is such a vast number of words that they can be arranged in many more ways than we could ever think of. There they are, wild and free in the dictionary and the thesaurus, waiting for you to group them together and build beautiful compositions with them. There’s always a thought to share, a feeling to express, a story to be told. There is fulfillment in each piece of literature written, indeed, but there are more ideas to be developed than there is time (life) to write them
Some people consider compulsive writing as a sign of loneliness. The need to write seems to be based on the inability to share our thoughts with others in our in-person life. Hence, we find shelter in paper and pens. You write on and on. You write until you’re tired. But why do ideas keep on coming? Others suggest that, rather than loneliness, it is the wish to be somewhere else instead. There is a big truth in it. Writing opens the doors towards a different universe, to reminiscences from the past, or predictions of the future. But the biggest quality of writers is being great listeners. We cannot write about what we don’t know. We can make use of fiction but there will ever be some hidden element of truth in it, built in our minds according to what we are familiar with. Hence, being a writer is being a listener.
That being said, it is also worth mentioning that being a writer is being an artist: what is literature if not a portal through alternate realities and the expression of experiences and feelings that other people (or the writer himself) have lived. In the same way that a painter’s piece expresses his ways, a writer’s piece is a portal to express what hasn’t been said and to say what others couldn’t put into words. Be it the reason it may be: not being able to write, censorship, fear, lack of time. That’s where writers come into play: we are the medium to connect silent people to those eager to listen.
Literature is vast. There are poems, history books, fiction and non-fiction novels, drama, comedy, etc. Compulsive writing that involves the creation of characters allows us to make people talk and behave our way. We can control what happens and we can make things happen the way we want them to. The obsession comes from the incapacity of doing so in the real world. Hence, the parallel world we create is a refuge from the imperfection of the real world. There we can fix boredom, evil, naivety, love, hate, anger, etc. We can make things happen our way. It is like watching a movie, but you can control everything to go the way you want it. But there’s a limit to it. The characters are alive. Yes: they are very much alive. There is only so much you can do with them, because they develop their own personality and their own behavior. Sometimes you wish you could help them from trouble but they can’t see their world as you can. That’s equivalent to being this universe, in which we live, the literary creation of somebody. As such, all the imperfections occur and we see the events take place sometimes against our will.
Writing never ends. However, the false feeling of completing something is always there. There’s a word quota and deadlines simply because it makes it feel like we are progressing. You climb that mountain, only to discover that there is another one to climb… and another after that. Writing allows us to intensify the feelings that in real life are more restrained. Friendship in real life is volatile, for example. Friendship in fiction is everlasting. Love in real life is limited. Love in fiction can beat any obstacle, distance and time. That’s why writing fiction is so addictive: we aim for perfection in an imperfect world.
When we complete literature pieces, regardless of how small, our brain finally rests. We are rewarded by that false feeling of being productive for having written something that wasn’t written before. Hence, we want to write and get rewarded. It is so addictive that it can even prevent us from living our lives outside our fictional worlds. The irony is that in order to create our fictional worlds we need stories, and those stories can’t happen if we don’t go out and live. Hence, our passion for writing should also inspire us to go outside and live. If the brain understood this, we wouldn’t feel anxiety when we are away from writing…
Genes from ancestors
Some people read history without much care about the details written on it. There are persons who can read pages of a history book without being touched. Those who do it that way, forget that the word “history” is not a void concept of “what happened n years ago”. It is a meaningful way to express what our relatives of the past lived. And what our offspring will know about us. It is a deep feeling that we carry on in our genetic material. A magic gift that we were given. Those who don’t feel it, live and die empty. Many try to find comfort in god or an entity they can’t see. Such entity is the contribution of all our ancestors together, to become alive through us once again.
We all have it in our blood but most of us don’t have time to meditate and bring that energy back to our bodies. Crystals, god, prayers, amulets… Nothing can ever bring the magic that acknowledging our true nature can. We are the living entity of something being carried on for so long. We weren’t born 20, 30, or 80 years ago but million of years ago when our first gene chains began to exist.
One day, we will all acknowledge that we are a higher entity than ourselves. A more complex entity than a mere human body alone: a society, a race, that has the contribution of every single person who ever lived on this planet… and one day even further than this planet will it be.
Quick note on penis length
For many years, penis has been an instrument of masculinity. Contrary to old-time Greeks, where it was testicles the ultimate feature of masculinity, a good sized penis has become one of the most valuable features in a man today. Such assumption mostly prevails in both men and women: a big penis is a symbol of beauty, masculinity, and even power.
It is due to its symbolic meaning that people (mostly men, and gay men in particular, of course) are obsessed with its size. The obsession towards penis size has been taken so far, that men have begun to lie about their true size. It is totally understandable; yet, it is completely unacceptable.
I am a man of duty. I endorse honesty and respect. That’s the reason for which I refuse to label my penis as a 9″ one. 7.5″ it is, and I am proud of it as it is. 7.5″ is more than enough to not fit everywhere. It is a good size and there is no need to write it as something that it isn’t. I could easily get away with it but I refuse to join that cause. Penis is not a symbol of masculinity, power, and beauty. It is simply a beautiful part of the body, as many others. In porn, a 5″ penis will be called 7″ already. That probably means that people would think of mine as a 5″ one when they read I am 7.5″. So be it. I would like those people to grab a ruler right now and see what 5,6,7,8″ are. That fear of labeling penis length as it is comes from the assumption that the bigger the better. So men become nervous around it and write an extra 1 or 2″ of what they truly have.
All it takes is a ruler and to remember math classes from grade 1 for how to use it. It only useful and convenient to be honest both to ourselves and to others. The right condom can only be chosen matching a penis size and the only way to achieve that is to measure it properly. It is even dangerous to do so: using condoms that are bigger than they should be can make them loose and ineffective towards what they are meant to do.
Penis enlargement is not the solution. The solution is to stop giving penis the magic powers that it doesn’t have. Let’s stop claiming what we don’t have. I invite you to embrace reality and make the most out of it.
Passing the Baton
I typed “Self Suck” on the web search the other day. Nice to have found a picture of mine among the results. At the beginning it felt awesome. I thought of how much I would love that my art would survive through the annals of time. But then I realized that nothing in this universe is immortal. We, and everything we do will die hopelessly. How meaningful what you do is doesn’t really matter.
We are fleeting. And so is the beauty of what we do so passionately. But our legacy stays. I’m not the guy on the web search engine anymore. And never will I be, once my website is down in a future that I can’t imagine right now…
I hope, however, to inspire other fellows on this same track of mine. I wish I am helping them to attain happiness, the same way I did with the inspiration I got from others who were on this path before me.
It is relieving to imagine that 100 and 1000 years from now, there will still be other guys enjoying sex as I do, and sharing their talent as I wish to do. I am happy to “pass the baton” to others so that they can rejoice from being alive.
What's immortality, paradise, and perfection
Immortality is a concept that doesn’t pertain to us. This universe was created with a beginning and with an end.
We can’t and we shouldn’t think of “immortality” because it doesn’t belong to this universe we live in. When religion portrays the perfection of life after life through infinity, it is always based on terrenal desires and that doesn’t make sense. Our terrenal wishes can only be fulfilled when our lives are governed by time. Is paradise a place where there’s endless food, sex, and sleep? It can’t be, because those desires of fulfillment are based on the lack of them to be appreciated. Excercise can be either a suffering and a pleasure, for example, in different points of our days and our lives. We enjoy the pleasure of stop suffering their deficit. Hence, that’s not divine. That is how paradise looks like from our humble terrenal point of view. Furthermore, our egoistic desires are only the result of harming others, be it animals, plants, other humans who don’t share our same religion, etc.
The real perfection of a paradise cannot be based on a desire-satisfaction basis. It can’t be governed by time. Take a widow for example. She has found love again but she truly loved her deceased husband. Will she live her after-life with the previous or the new one? The perfection of paradise goes beyond that banality because there is no such thing as “time” anymore.
Let’s be humble and accept the reality as it is: we are simple humans, a small creation of what we call “God”. We are neither the favourite nor the only creation of “Him”. Let’s stop worrying about hell and paradise; we will all get to that “after-life” at some point. Only then will we enjoy the perfection of this universe of which we know so little.
Society, the macro-organism we are part of
In the same way that our bodies are composed of living cells, we are the living cells bringing life to bigger entities that we call “States, countries, and humanity”. There are people who are in charge of leading others, in the same way that neurons do. They are not necessarily the best ones to lead others; they can, in fact, lead others to self destruction, as in the case of suicide.
Modern society makes us feel that individual sentiments are less meaningful than those of bigger social group. While it may be true that a bigger entity is more complex and more valuable than an individual, let’s not forget that analyzing our presence in the world is senseless. Social media and modern society in general makes us feel like our voice is only heard depending on the number of people it reaches. It is true that the impact is measured that way, but what is the real significance of your voice being heard all over the world while you have only one life to live? Only a few people will ever get close to you.
Yes, a macro-organism is more complex and more valuable than a single person from the biological point of view. That’s why a person whose voice is heard and acclaimed worldwide seems to have more value. But that’s only the result of social media and modern society. Regardless, we are and will ever be simple humans being part of bigger entities.
Porn vs art
I am a big fan of art in all its forms. I simply believe that the complexity of our human species is more elevated when measured by the art it can create. That’s why I love sex as a means of expression to make art with it. Sex may be art. Porn involves sex but seldom is it art. There is a clear distinction between the simple sex and artistic sex. Those who are sensible can know what the difference is. My sexual art may not be that of a great artist, but it is through my writing that it becomes the neat sexual art that I am so very proud of.
In response to Brian Shuster’s “Is OnlyFans breaking the US Economy?
By now, you may have noticed how the word OnlyFans seems to be all over the place. And while it seems that everything has been said about it, there are always new topics related to it that are worth talking about. In response to Brian Shuster’s “Is OnlyFans Breaking the US Economy?”
Brian Shuster tells us, in his posting https://brianshuster-39907.medium.com/is-onlyfans-breaking-the-us-economy-9523bc9eb620, a few of the reasons why the entertainment sector might be leading the economy into hyperinflation. Some arguments are strong, such as the fact that there are some jobs that are struggling to find workers to do them. It’s also a fact that real estate appreciation is an incentive not to work and simply see your assets gain value over time. Another truth is that some people can earn more money by using their charm and beauty instead of working in conventional jobs. And yet another one is that there aren’t enough incentives in working for an employer who doesn’t see value in their employees.
What his article fails to mention is that the entertainment sector is part of the productive economy as well. Just because its reach cannot be measured in terms of productivity or numbers, doesn’t mean that it isn’t creating something. Onlyfans entertainers, and those who work in similar sites, are not that much different than the average football player or famous movie star: their work is to entertain their audience and, by doing so, they contribute to the economy just as all others do. Their reach in terms of what they bring to society is simply not quantifiable but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. There used to be lots of people involved in each project of the entertainment industry in the past; now, performers can earn money without a full team of people working around them. This phenomenon has opened our eyes to see how much money there is in this industry.
Shuster’s article shows, pretty accurately, that OnlyFans had a monthly payout of about $0.3B/month, while the Federal Reserve “prints” about $130B/month. That makes such payout equivalent to a mere 0.2%, which is not only little, but money that was already “printed” and belonging to someone else (the subscribers). Yes: a few channels are taking home millions of dollars per month but the vast majority aren’t. Only the top 1% is making six figures per year. Saying that such money used to belong in stocks and bonds and has now trickled its way down to the working class who’ll spend it consuming goods, is simply not the case. That’s because that money comes mostly from the working class already; hence, it is changing hands only. It looks big and catastrophic for several reasons, mostly because of those channels that make millions per month. But there have always been movies whose box office numbers are off the roof, yet nobody ever found that weird. It is only now, when a single person (a taxpayer, worth noting) takes the share, that it feels like the skies are falling apart.
There seems to be a certain apprehension when it comes to embracing jobs that don’t belong to the primary or the secondary sector. Third sector jobs are still required and a big part of what makes our society sustainable as we know it: education, transportation, hospitality, healthcare, and other services are, along with entertainment, good examples of them.
We live in a very interesting era of humanity. Along with the industrial revolution of the XVIII century, and the technological revolution of the XX century, we are now seeing a sexual awakening. We are still very immature when it comes to embracing nudity and sexuality. Hence, we have put too much value in it. Way more than it deserves. As a consequence, the entertainment industry oriented to offering nudity and sexuality are recipients of a bigger share of this medium of economic exchange that we call money. But it will only last for so long. As we evolve as a society, we will eventually place sex where it belongs: as a normal part of us. Only then will we break free from it, and people in the primary and secondary sectors of the economy will see their wages go up as those of the e-sex trade settle at a more appropriate level.
